i'm alone. still i wear a cheerful mask. lost phone calls- swallowed into my past.
i was unembarassed; plain. we just laughed and changed our names. but then- you didn't care. no reasons or apologies.
i remember knowing all the perfect words. i don't know what you thought you'd find.
i remember you right here. sleeping next to me.

where did all our words go?

two more nights. lifeless, like a toy doll hand. so you moved, and spoke of playing games of chance.
aeroplanes like giant birds. apologies are still unheard. i don't know just how; or who i'd recognize today.

i remember writing letters to my friends. about you always. fields of sighs.
i remember a night we thought just the same.

where did the words go?

i remember aphasia creeping over me. nights overturned and moved away.
"i remember hating you for loving me."

where do all the words go?

on the phone, drinking from a wooden glass. returned calls follow me to my past.
time fell like a forest flame. and i dreamt of aeroplanes- blue birds floating there.
fighting. no apologies. sorry.

i remember knowing all the perfect words. i don't know what you thought you'd find.
i remember you right here. sleeping next to me.

where did all our words go?