Just cos I ain't never ‘ad, no,
Nothing worth having
Never ever, never ever
You ain't got no call not to think
I wouldn't fall
Into thinking that
I ain't too clever
And it ain't not having
One thing nor another
Neither, either is it anything, whatever
And it's not not knowing that
There ain't nothing showing
And I answer to the name
Of Trever, however

Just cos I ain't never said, no,
Nothing worth saying
Never ever, never ever, never ever
Things ‘ave got read into what I never sad,
Till me mouth becomes me ‘ead
Which ain't not all that clever
And it's not not saying
One thing nor another
Neither, either is it anything
I haven't said, whatever
And it ain't not proving
That me mind ain't moving
And I answer to the name
Of Trever, however

Knock me down with a feather
Clever Trevor
Widebrows wonder whether
Clever Trevor's clever
Either have they got
Nor neither haven't not
Got no right to make a clot
Out of Trevor

Why should I feel bad
About something I ain't ‘ad
Such stupidness is mad
Cos nothing underfoot
Comes to nothing less to add
To a load of old toot
And I ain't half not half
Cos there's nowhere to put it
Even if I ‘ad I'm a bit of a Jack the Lad

Knock me down with a feather
Clever Trevor
Widebrows wonder whether
Clever Trevor's clever
Either have they got
Nor neither haven't not
Got no right to make a clot
Out of Trevor

Also, it takes much longer
To get up north, the slow way