Yesterday I discovered
Another of my failings
I tripped and lodged my head
Between the park railings

To you it may sound funny
But friend, I was there all day
Just hoping for a fireman
To send me on my merry little way

And I cried
Aaaaaah-woooooh hoooo
Aaaaaah-woooooh hoooo

I whiled away my time there
Staring at the ants
With my legs crossed to avoid
Soaking through my pants
And crying like a schoolboy
With bullies on his tail
Instead of a grown man
With his head between the rails

Like the bars of my own jail

And I cried
Aaaaaah-woooooh hoooo
Aaaaaah-woooooh hoooo

I was crying like a schoolboy
With bullies on his tail
Instead of a grown man
With his head between the rails

Searchin' for the holy grail
An award for 'Best British Male'
But I'm lodged between the rails

A-woo-hoo
Boo-hoo
Boo-hoo

I was lodged.