Sitting in my house, and I know that I'm alona,
Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle on my bona.
Go grab a Penthouse it's the one with Sharon Stona.
Hey Masterbata!!

I go a little faster and it's feeling kinda nicea,
Once ain't enough so I have to do it twicea.
If you wanna spank the monkey I can give you some advicea.
Hey Masturbata!!

I use some baby oil or a little Vaselina,
Laying down a towel so I keep my carpet cleana.
Never shake my hand cause you don't know where its beena.
Hey Masturbata!!

I do it in my car when I'm driving down the streeta,
One hand on the wheel and the other's on my meata.
I can't get out of the car cause I'm sticking to the seata.
Hey Masturbata!!

Since I was a kid I have been a Masturbater,
Choke the chicken, hum the knob, squeezing the tomata.
I've loked at Ms. November now I'm gonna decorate her.
Hey Masturbata!!

Buffing the banana, Mr. Lizard shaking bakin',
Pounding on the flounder and it's mayonnaise I'm making.
Spank the frank, wax the carrot, God my hand is aching.
H-e-e-e-y Masturbata!!