I want to have a stalker someday
Someone to follow me all around
And never go away
And even though I know
I wouldn’t have any privacy
We could sit around all day
And talk about me
Like Joey Butafuco had Amy Fisher
And Yoda had Luke Skywalker
I want to have a stalker
I want to have a stalker

Well maybe she’s delusional or obsessed
Or has a psychological disease
But everyone’s entitled
To idiosyncrasies
Or maybe she’s peaking in my window
Or in my backyard behind a tree
And If I saw her I’d say “Hey come on in
And lets watch TV.”
Well Apollo chased a wood nymph in mythology
And John Hinckley was a real sweat talker
I want to have a stalker
I want to have a stalker

Cause right now I’m kind of sad and kind of lonely
And I know that she would think about me only
If I got crank phone calls I’d just try to call her back
I’d hire a private investigator to find out where she’s at
I want to have a stalker
I want to have a stalker

Stalk me.